“Anyone can be a father…….”
“Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy.” – Anonymous
A good father makes all the difference in a child’s life. He’s a pillar of strength, support, and discipline. His work is endless and, oftentimes, thankless. But in the end, it shows in the sound, well-adjusted children he raises.
On Father’s Day, much of the world will take the time to appreciate the work of good fathers. While you show your admiration for your own dad, take the time to see if you yourself have what it takes to be a great father, whether you have children or plan to.
1- He’s a good disciplinarian
A good father loves his children, but he doesn’t let them get away with murder. He strongly disapproves of his children’s misdeeds, using tough love to prove a point. He does this through the power of his words, not his fists.
Likewise, a father doesn’t reward his children for actions that are expected of them, such as helping with house chores or performing well in school. If his child drops out of school, the father demands that he provide for himself, considering the child no longer wants to invest in his own future.
2- He allows his kids to make some mistakes
A good father realizes that his children are human and that making mistakes is part of growing up. Spending money recklessly, getting into minor car accidents, getting drunk and sick for the first time, even dating questionable women are rites of passage, and a good father recognizes this. However, he makes it clear that repeated irresponsibility won’t be tolerated.
3- He’s open-minded
A good father understands that times, people and tastes change over the years, and doesn’t try to maintain some gold standard of his own time. For instance, he realizes that body piercings are more commonplace than before, that more couples have premarital sex, and that people talk more candidly about personal issues. In other words, he allows his children to be citizens of their day and age.
He shows his kids that everything has its value…
4- He teaches his children to appreciate things
A good father never lets his children take what they have for granted. From the food on the table to the good education he’s paying for, a good father will make his children see the value in everything they have. He’ll ask his child to get a job to help pay for a part of his first car, and take the time to illustrate how important a good education is. He doesn’t let his kids treat him like an ATM.
5- He accepts that his kids aren’t exactly like him
Everyone is different and a father knows this well. He won’t expect his kids to live the same kind of life he does, and do the same kind of work. He also respects their values and opinions, as long as they don’t harm the family or anyone else.
To use a pop culture example, he’s like Martin Crane from Frasier ; the everyman blue-collar dad who allowed his pompous sons to steer their lives in a different direction, even if he didn’t quite agree with them.
6- He spends quality time with his children
A dad knows how to have fun with his kids too, taking them out to games, movies, and supporting their sports teams by attending their matches. He takes the time to listen to his kids and have a good, easy chat with them. He also makes time to help them with their homework, every night if necessary.
7- He leads by example
A good father is above the old “do as I say, not as I do” credo. He will not smoke if he doesn’t want his kids to do it, and definitely won’t drink heavily. He teaches them to deal with conflict with a family member and with others by being firm but reasonable at the same time.
A good father also illustrates the importance of affection by professing his love for their mother in front of them. And he won’t fight with her in their presence. In all, he adheres to the values he’d like his children to follow.
He’s fiercely loyal to his family
8- He’s supportive & loyal
Although he may be a football fanatic, if his son doesn’t share his love for the game, he accepts it. He may be loyal to his alma mater and dream of having his kid follow his legacy, but if his son prefers to study abroad, he’ll support his decision to take a different path.
A good father is also his children’s public defender, standing up for them when needed. He waits for privacy to administer discipline. A safety net, a good father is also the person his kids turn to when things go wrong.
9- He challenges his kids
A father wants his children to be the best they can be and gives them challenges that help them grow as human beings. This means giving them some liberty to face setbacks and resolve conflicts on their own. Or it could be a task, such as building something for the house.
If a father wants his children to take over the family business, he teaches them how to keep it flourishing — provided that’s the path they want to take.
10- He teaches his children lessons
A father figure is the prime source of knowledge in the ways of men and teaches his kids accordingly. From shaving to being courageous, a father molds his kids into well-rounded members of society. He especially instructs them in proper etiquette, on being honest and keeping their word, and on being thankful.
A great father knows he must sacrifice his own comfort for his fatherly duties. For instance, if he comes home from a hard day at work and catches his kids looking at porn on the Net, he’ll take the time to address an awkward situation even though he’s tired.
11- He protects his family at all costs
As the main provider of security and necessities, a father will do whatever he can for his family. He’ll take a second job to provide for them, and he’ll put his own safety on the line to keep them out of harm’s way. This is how a father instills in his children the importance of personal sacrifice.
12- He shows unconditional love
This is the greatest quality of a good father. Even though he gets upset at his children’s faults and may lament that they did not attain what he hoped for them, a father loves his children no less for it. In these days of polarized sexual politics, the value of a great father is often overlooked. But there are few things as valuable as a father who will do everything he can, and provide all the tools he has so that his children can become better than him.
This Father’s Day, show your dad you appreciate what a great man he is. And take the time to make yourself just as grand.
Julian Marcus for ASK Men Magazine