This is why “I DON’T” date.

This is why “I DON’T” date.

This is why “I DON’T” date. The men out there are FREAKS said by Miranda of Sex and The City.

Why do WE keep getting into relationships? Why do WE keep thinking this time or this guy or this girl will be different…BETTER than the last? Why is being married or in a relationship preferred to being “SINGLE” It’s a Sex AND the City Kind Friday ya’ll. I recently had a conversation with a female associate of mine, who is a 51-year old divorcee, who is now ready to get back on the dating scene; which means online dating baby.

Don’t cringe. She’s NOT alone. She asked me for help on her profile. Just when I thought my Friday would be dedicated to Rest and Relaxation…they pull me back in. Lol Every time she mentioned trying to find a single man in her age range who wasn’t chasing after sex, young girls or trash talking his ex, I noticed the reverberation in her voice lower when she spoke the word “Single”; as if it were some dreaded disease, plague or EPIDEMIC.

I positively and proactively expressed my opinion, coming from someone who recently ended a 13-month relationship by saying this: “You know, being Single is NOT a bad thing, just as being married or having a companion is neither a good or bad, it just is” “It’s just where you are”. It’s ALL yummy, Delicious and perfects the way it is. So, I read her profile, made some suggestions and with her consent I made some changes.

She then told me I should become a life coach. Lol. Sure, after I get my own life together. I found her profile to be a little too serious. She was missing the humor, charm, and fun in the process of dating. Her profile was INTENSE, to say the least. She appears to have a somewhat low opinion of men in her age range and the online dating community.

I’m no relationship expert. I’m still learning to navigate this thing myself. However, what I do know to be true and correct; at least for me is this: The only way our lives can be taken to an expansive level where WE can grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally, is to do it with another person. I liken this statement to be in an acting class where we have mastered our scene study, monologues and getting an “A” in Acting class; yet we never go out into the real world and use those skills and tools we’ve learned to: Audition.

Seek out representation. Book a freakin-A role in something….anything!! New Year’s Eve 2012, I knew I would meet an Amazing man and get into a relationship; otherwise, I was moving to Europe by the beginning of 2013. I could feel it. He was soo close, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I felt I was ready to put all of my acting class lessons to the test.

And I did. In the beginning, It was Wonderful, Exciting, Passionate and fun until it became Laborious, Exhausting, Heavy and Clear that not only was He NOT the one, but I wasn’t the one for him or myself. Relationships can work when WE are doing the work and doing it with the right person worth working it with. We can practice all of this self-help, self-discovery, and therapy all day long; yet it means nothing if WE don’t get back into the game of life. After all, life is but a dance and sometimes you gotta drop it like it’s hot (figuratively and literally) to get what it is you want for your life. And ladies, NOT all men are freaks, just like NOT all women are crazy. Right? Ya Hollywood Fitness Go2Gurl on Love

Fee King

About The Author

French Connection

The Ordinary

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