"A Global Movement of Positive Energy!"
I just want to say my name is Emmanuel Jal. And I come from a long way. I've been telling a story that has been so painful for me. It's been a tough journey for me, traveling the world, telling my story in form of a book. And also telling it like now. And also, the easiest one was when I was doing it in form of a music.
So I have branded myself as a war child. I'm doing this because of an old lady in my village now, who has lost her children. There is no newspaper to cover her pain, and what she wants to change in this society. And I'm doing it for a young man who wants to create a change and has no way to project his voice because he can't write. Or there is no Internet, like Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, for them to talk.
Also, one thing that kept me pushing this story, this painful stories out, the dreams I have, sometimes, is like the voices of the dead, that I have seen would tell me, "Don't give up. Keep on going." Because sometimes I feel like stopping and not doing it because I didn't know what I was putting myself into.
Well, I was born in the most difficult time when my country was at war. I saw my village burned down. The world that meant a lot to me, I saw it vanish in my face. I saw my aunt in rape when I was only five. My mother was claimed by the war. My brothers and sisters were scattered. And up to now, me and my father were detached and I still have issues with him. Seeing people die every day, my mother crying, it's like I was raised in a violence. And that made me call myself a war child.
And not only that, when I was eight I became a child soldier.
I didn't know what was the war for. But one thing I knew was an image that I saw that stuck in my head. When I went to the training camp I say, "I want to kill as many Muslims, and as many Arabs, as possible." The training wasn't easy, but that was the driving force because I wanted to revenge for my family. I wanted to revenge for my village.
Luckily now things have changed because I came to discover the truth. What was actually killing us wasn't the Muslims, wasn't the Arabs. It was somebody sitting somewhere manipulating the system, and using religion to get what they want to get out of us, which is the oil, the diamond, the gold and the land. So realizing the truth gave me a position to choose: should I continue to hate, or let it go?
I am looking out the still window
staring to the flowers in this wet pain
watch them play and grow in this garden rain
counting the seconds to see you tomorrow
I know I am a man that gives sorrow
so much sensitivity that words cannot explain
tormented I know as it drives your heart insane
while holding me as I try to grow
I miss you every day
think of the love that fills me
scared of the day I push you away
when it is you I want to hold, kiss and see
you are so beautiful that words cannot explain
as magical to see as this gorgeous, tender garden rain
© Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2012
Andrew Scott is a native of Fredericton, NB. Andrew started writing as a way to communicate and cleanse his feelings. The poems written are based on all five senses of emotion. They are stories of him and others, based loosely on conversations and observations. These are brought to him by visions in his mind and relating to his characters as they were real people. Once they are thought of, these people come to life as their story is told. The reader can relate as these are emotions based on everyday life.
Andrew has a belief that all can relate and should share in these stories as they have affected him for the better. All people can contribute to affecting someone’s life and we should celebrate everyone’s story. Without them, we would have nothing.
His book of Poetry and Prose “Snake With A Flower” is available now at the following link.